#mission reports

[syntheticsystem]

everywhere I go I see his face (my local supermarket sprung a lego captain rex helmet on me during this week's food shop)

[lumpofcohle]

my sister was scared of pooh's grand adventure too

holy shit that's so validating. unfortunately i was like 10+ years old but my childhood ocd became absolutely CONVINCED that they were about to leave tigger to die in the gorge. i turned it off in pure dread before i got to see them all go down there to get him out 😂

[ghostsoap-server]

Hello!! I’ve been seeing a lot of amazing art and fic from the reverse bang and was wondering if it’s possible to join the server? I found a link in an older post but it’s expired so just wanted to check. Thanks! 💜

Hello! It does look like our invite link expired, oops. Here's a new one for you. We look forward to seeing you there 💚

-Lt. ANTchan

[kaguyasconception]

Kakashi Hatake Mission Report #5 - Concerning guarding the Land of Waves bridge builder Tazuna, and the battle with rogue shinobi Zabuza.

Client: Tazuna - Bridge builder from Land of Waves. Currently constructing a large bridge to connect the Land of Waves with other countries.

Duties: Protection - Guard him from thieves and the like on the road to the Land of Waves until construction is completed.

Mission Rank: C

Report Four: Zabuza appears, battle with Haku:

“As expected, Zabuza and the rogue shinobi boy Haku appeared before us again. Sasuke and Naruto took on Haku, while I took on Zabuza, but the battle was stopped when Zabuza’s employer, Gato, betrayed him. During the battle Sasuke’s sharingan ability appears to have awakened”.

“Key point to remember: strong emotions might open Naruto’s seal. We may need to take precautions”.

Mission Notes:

- Haku used his kekkei genkai to make mirrors of ice.

- Anger weakened Naruto’s seal.

- Haku died saving Zabuza from my lightening blade.

- The citizens of the Land of Waves rallied and saved their country.

[lezzian]

corporations with fuck-you money like disney, target, and absolut vodka make big bucks selling their overpriced garbage with the orange&pink lesbian flag on it but the person who made it is currently HOMELESS.

update 2/may/2023

since i made this post people have tried to argue on it in some really disgusting ways honestly and it's shown me that a lot of you don't actually care about protecting your community. in the meantime emily, although no longer homeless, is still begging just to get by every moth. they have a place now but are always short on money for rides, meds, rent, and other bills.

give your money to emily gwen.

[yjcorefourenjoyer]

I fully believe that yj98 doesn’t tell ANYONE about their missions anymore.

they probably did in the past with their early ones, but after the 7th lie detector test, and 3rd time they had to get Jon and/or Wonder Woman’s lasso involved to prove they were telling the truth, they just stopped.

After you’ve heard one mission people usually think they’re lying and stop asking questions. All YJ have to say is ‘it was a Classic yj mission, do you really want to hear about it?’ and all other inquiries would be dropped. YJ themselves won’t bring it up, and you won’t believe them anyways, so what’s the point?

So you won’t believe what this leads to when Damian and Jon after being curious for a while, decided to answer “yes, we do wanna know” to them

now YJ has to deal with two teens and the justice league, who finally decides to look at them (and what they’ve done) for the first time…

[augustinewrites]

it’s been…a while since you and satoru have gone on an assignment together.

having two young children at home made it difficult to take off on short notice and be away for days at a time. they needed stability and routine, so the two of you had decided that one person would stay home while the other was working.

for a while, that’d worked fine. but now that megumi and tsumiki were older, self-sufficient teens who loved nothing more than being left alone, satoru had seen this as an opportunity.

you’d still been a little hesitant, but it was a simple surveillance mission. easy, right?

“water. you need to stay hydrated.” you instruct when he gets back into the car. he takes the water bottle you’re holding out, unscrewing the cap and taking a swig.

“gakuganji isn’t even home yet,” he reports with a sigh. you hum, distracted as you check your phone. gojo reaches across your knees to pull open the glovebox, rifling through colourful snack wrappers.

“tsumiki hasn’t texted me back,” you mutter. “should i ask nanami to check in on them?”

“nah, i’m sure they’re just super busy trashing the apartment and racking up charges on the emergency credit card. ah– found it!” he pulls out a black silk sleep mask, slipping it on so it rests on his forehead.

“really?” you ask, unimpressed as he holds a second one out to you. “you’re taking a nap?”

“yeah, it’ll be easier to sneak around when it’s dark, why stay awake till then?”

“is that a good idea?” you ask, though you know there’s really no point in trying to argue with his logic.

“your fault for keeping me awake all night. late night laundry folding is no joke.”

“if you’d put it in the dryer when i’d asked—”

“can’t hear you,” he sing-songs, pulling the mask over his eyes. “you can take a nap too, you know. that old fart couldn’t get past us even while asleep.”

“i’ll pass on the nap. need to wait for tsumiki to text.”

he grumbles something incoherent that you’re sure is meant to be argumentative as he reclines his seat a little and lays back, getting comfortable and quiet.

…for about 45 seconds.

you watch out of the corner of your eye as he pulls the mask up a half inch, just enough for his right eye to observe you.

“what do you want now?” you ask.

then, with casualty akin to asking what you want for lunch, he clears his throat and asks, “do you want to have sex?”

“do i want to have what?” you ask, turning to stare at him incredulously, but your face is hot and for a split second, you’d considered agreeing.

“sex,” he repeats, patting his lap with a shit-eating grin. “we’re going to be here for a while, anyways. these seats recline way back—”

“i am not having sex in this car with you, satoru!”

he groans over-dramatically (as he tends to do). “will you at least cuddle with me then? i’m desperate and touch-starved and hopelessly in love with you!”

you make a note to figure out what cheesy rom com he stole that line from, but lean across the console to trail kisses up his shoulder, his neck. satoru does nothing to protect himself from your overly affectionate onslaught, he’s quick to catch your jaw, pulling you in for a proper kiss.

“wait. no, no, no!” he protests when you pull back, eyes suddenly trained on the house you’re meant to be watching. “you can’t just leave me high and dry—”

“he’s home!” you whisper, pressing a hand over his mouth (though he continues with muffled complaints). “pull the car a little further back before we get out.”

you’ve already summoned your shikigami as satoru maneuvers the car into the dense forestry, about to send them off when your phone vibrates in your lap.

“oh! megumi texted me,” you inform him. “he said…‘already made dinner. tsumiki is out on a date—’”

the car grinds to a halt and abruptly turns, the momentum causing your to slam into the side of the car as it peels out onto the dirt road. you curse loudly as your fiancé, devoid of all his playfulness from earlier, speeds through the forest.

“what the— satoru!”

[petitesmafia]

Chuuya's gonna land in yokohama like "hey stupid detective agency motherfuc— oh. uh? so it's uh. just like...the two of u now...or...?"

[team7-headquarter]

HE WAS SO MAD

[temeyes]

just 'gumi carrying his babes + gojo (pose ref!)

[hijinxinprogress]

12 year old tim realizing robin’s not coming back to gotham and deciding that it’s Batman’s fault so he has to ruin the little bit of sanity and peace of mind Bruce has managed (read: struggled) to keep in his grasp:

[lumpofcohle]

what is howard the duck?

widely regarded as the worst marvel movie ever made and one of the worst movies of all time, but it has a cult following

[jalapainio]

Headcannon that the 1st generation of the teen titans (Dick, Roy, Donna, Wally, and Garth) have such a complicated love life with one another that it would totally be a 20 season romcom. They've all dated each other at some point, multiple thruples have popped up, at least 3 Teen Titans orgies have occured, ect. By the time Raven, Beast Boy, and Cyborg joined the team, the more complex sides of the romance have mostly fallen away, but sometimes it came back up.

Raven: Mr. Twister hates you because your were dating Donna?

Dick: No, that was later. Wally was dating her at the time, and that's why he went after us. I had an on and off thing with Roy at the time.

Raven: Roy? But I thought he with Garth?

Dick: Oh yeah he was cheating on Garth at the time. Course, when Garth found out, he and I hooked up to get back at Roy.

Raven: If Mr. Twister didn't go after you because of Donna, then why did Mr. Twister hates you?

Dick: Oh I totally was sleeping with Wally at the time. Mr. Twister isn't a homophobe, mind you- he just hates cheaters and gingers, and Wally was both.

[kaguyasconception]

Kakashi Hatake Mission Report #4 - Concerning guarding the Land of Waves bridge builder Tazuna, and the battle with rogue shinobi Zabuza.

Client: Tazuna - Bridge builder from Land of Waves. Currently constructing a large bridge to connect the Land of Waves with other countries.

Duties: Protection - Guard him from thieves and the like on the road to the Land of Waves until construction is completed.

Mission Rank: C

Report Three: Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura train, progress:

“ Aware that Zubuza would attack again, I placed the three genin in intensive training. To improve chakra control, I had them climb trees. This proved effective, and all three improved rapidly”.

Mission Notes:

- Competition between Naruto and Sasuke leads to rapid progress.

- Naruto encouraged others, improving socially as well.

- Now able to hang upside-down from a branch.

[lezzian]

i actually think we should not be giving JK rowling any attention in general but to be honest maybe normies should know that woman is straight up doing holocaust denial on twitter now

[lulu-draws-stuff]

This was gonna be a comic, but I wasn't having fun drawing it, so I scrapped it

You get the cover and outfits section